Saturday, March 26, 2011
gods plan
You know count your blessings . Have been thinking about my life and how it’s played out . My child hood was not easy at all but i lived. Teens wasted but i live adulthood more ups and downs then i would want to remember. But other have it so worst then i could ever imagine i have had a lot of blessing in my life. childhood i had my grandmother what a wonderful lady. she taught me how to be strong teens well let’s just say wasted had lots of good times some stand out more than others .but learned from it all had some good friends from it. some faded away .but some stucked it out. some were lost then found my adulthood has been a hard road my marriage had some tough roads but we made it work 27 years we have been together this December will be 27 year married. You know so people have regrets not me every step in my life has meaning and molded me into who i am. Some moments not so proud of but still made it . so in September i was baptized i would like to share this it was a beautiful part of who i am today. It has been a long journey but a life time of learning, to become who i am today.
Before I believed in Christ my life was difficult I had my family that I loved but I was always angry at life anyway I was always blaming everyone for all things that went wrong in my life. I hated where we were. I would always ask why he was letting this happen to me life was hard sad and I know I needed to do something to change my life.
I started working with my friend Sherri Bravo, and she invited me to a church tea party but I didn’t go. Things at home were becoming harder due to finances so I decided to take a second job. Sheri saw the strain that this was being put on me. She asked me if I wanted to go on a retreat because they had an extra seat but I ended up getting very sick and in the hospital by the time I returned to work the ticket was given away.
So I thought this was not for me. Again the anger to God came back. I was mad I didn’t understand why he didnt want me! Then at the last minute on a Thursday Sheri came to me and told me that someone was sick and couldn’t go and that there was a ticket and that she really wanted me to go, she thought this was something I really needed I said yes. But I didn’t know how my family was going to deal with it I was scared and happy at the same time. And I went. I never saw a place so peaceful and the speaker that year was so amazing. If felt like she was talking straight to me. So during one of the lectures she asked us to close our eyes. She asked a lot of questions. As my eyes were closed I could see Jesus, then she asked us to open our eyes and I was standing and crying I never felt so relieved all my anger and hate that I had was gone all I felt was love. My life was renewed and I was thankful to have everyone from church. I never saw so many women willing to stand up for me and believe in me. Sheri, Denise and Teresa and Amy were all so supportive and there to answer my questions. People from work were always so supportive. Katie even bought me a book that she thought I would like. I never felt so loved by people who didn’t even really know me. Paul’s sermons would always touch me I always felt he was talking straight to me. Then everything started changing. My daughter got the help she needed and went to church with me. Then my son started also going to church and other sons also found Christ as well. My husband always kept a check on me and made sure that I was going to church and my daugthers are doing well and I have a beautiful grandaughter I have a new life, a new home, and I have been so blessed with a wonderful family and friends , Including my church family. I never thought my life would be this wonderful and blessed.
I am only strong because of the strength God has given me. My life isn't easy not by a long shot BUT I have God.
There's A Reason
I was always taught, there's a reason
That people do the things they do,
Though you may not always like them.
Their heart hides a secret from you.
If they're quick to bite your head off
Or constantly brag and boast,
Remember, the people we like the least
May need our love the most.
Could it be they had been abused
Or even ridiculed all their lives?
These are the type of hurtful things
That make sure their heart survives.
But, the heart that survives is hardened
And, on the seas of life, they coast.
Remember, the people we like the least
May need our love the most.
.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Dream/ Reality
Dreams / Reality
Ok So Had something weird happen to me .I had my alarm set to get up for church when it went off I just was not feeling it. So I text my Daughter and said not feeling right no church. So 8am she came in my room and said mom what are you doing I said didn’t you get my text? She said no! she said im up and I promised them that we are going to church .I said ok when you get out of the shower wake me up . Then it was 830 and I said what is taking her so long ? I got up and she was not in the bathroom went to her bedroom and she is sleeping WHAT!!! what are you doing ? Mom you texted me and said no church! No! no! no you came in my room at 8am, and said you are going to church .you were to get me up after you got out of the shower . Mom your crazy! I did not come into your room. Yes yes you did . Then I started thinking I was going crazy. then it is a sign we need to go, get up! and get up now. But….. Need a shower! Nope lets go .So everybody rushed around to get ready.this was my morning. we went and what a message we heard . Mark was WOW! even went to sit and talk with the pastor. Amber and Him our going to go to a Growth group. He said it was what he needed to hear. And Lailah loved Children’s Church she said I love Jesus look stickers . So . Just listen and you will hear.
Dear god thank you for opening my heart so I can see you. Dreams or Reality
Love me.
Ok So Had something weird happen to me .I had my alarm set to get up for church when it went off I just was not feeling it. So I text my Daughter and said not feeling right no church. So 8am she came in my room and said mom what are you doing I said didn’t you get my text? She said no! she said im up and I promised them that we are going to church .I said ok when you get out of the shower wake me up . Then it was 830 and I said what is taking her so long ? I got up and she was not in the bathroom went to her bedroom and she is sleeping WHAT!!! what are you doing ? Mom you texted me and said no church! No! no! no you came in my room at 8am, and said you are going to church .you were to get me up after you got out of the shower . Mom your crazy! I did not come into your room. Yes yes you did . Then I started thinking I was going crazy. then it is a sign we need to go, get up! and get up now. But….. Need a shower! Nope lets go .So everybody rushed around to get ready.this was my morning. we went and what a message we heard . Mark was WOW! even went to sit and talk with the pastor. Amber and Him our going to go to a Growth group. He said it was what he needed to hear. And Lailah loved Children’s Church she said I love Jesus look stickers . So . Just listen and you will hear.
Dear god thank you for opening my heart so I can see you. Dreams or Reality
Love me.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Grow Down Up &Out
So this week I've be doing a lot of thinking,listening .Last week I was tour up and spit out. I felt like crap did not know why Im even here. so been doing a lot of praying to find what I'm missing. see I'm not missing anything you see Ithought Iwas not hearing him but I just don't obey I have a problem with things that are hard to do or deal with so I avoid them.now that I know this I have to start listening a lot closer to our lord.
"I've come to realize that in order for God to open another door for you, the one you came through has to be completely closed."..
I had put this on my face book touch of wisdom here the thing I never close this door I leave them open so if I needed to go back I can. so its hard for me to close this door its all I ever knew to be true I hold a lot of my life in this door frankly all my life is behind that door if I close that door I can never visit their again. that door is almost closed but it still have the slightest crack in it just not closed .so I'm hoping that after today I'll close it the rest of the way just not going to lock it . cause I do have a new door to open and that is my walk with Christ. I know he is with me all the way holding my hand as I walk right now he is carrying me, soon though I will walk. my friend who has just come to know Christ. has taught me I lot in the last few month about my own faith so she sent me this poem its not the first time this has come to me. funny how he work in are life's so here is is
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."
~ Unknown
I been reading this every night It does make me feel better so have this thing on face book its call message from god its funny that most days its what i needed to hear so today's read this:
On this day, God wants you to know
... that you matter. People need you. People you love and even people you have never met are depending on you. You matter to God as well. No one else can be the person you were created to be. Do not think for a minute that you are not important; the world needs you. God needs you
it made my day, put a smile on my face so to is a good good day loving life good or bad as long I have god its always OK. so hear i am the good the bod the whole word to see god is god all the time so get down and look up and give him all the glory.
"I've come to realize that in order for God to open another door for you, the one you came through has to be completely closed."..
I had put this on my face book touch of wisdom here the thing I never close this door I leave them open so if I needed to go back I can. so its hard for me to close this door its all I ever knew to be true I hold a lot of my life in this door frankly all my life is behind that door if I close that door I can never visit their again. that door is almost closed but it still have the slightest crack in it just not closed .so I'm hoping that after today I'll close it the rest of the way just not going to lock it . cause I do have a new door to open and that is my walk with Christ. I know he is with me all the way holding my hand as I walk right now he is carrying me, soon though I will walk. my friend who has just come to know Christ. has taught me I lot in the last few month about my own faith so she sent me this poem its not the first time this has come to me. funny how he work in are life's so here is is
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."
~ Unknown
I been reading this every night It does make me feel better so have this thing on face book its call message from god its funny that most days its what i needed to hear so today's read this:
On this day, God wants you to know
... that you matter. People need you. People you love and even people you have never met are depending on you. You matter to God as well. No one else can be the person you were created to be. Do not think for a minute that you are not important; the world needs you. God needs you
it made my day, put a smile on my face so to is a good good day loving life good or bad as long I have god its always OK. so hear i am the good the bod the whole word to see god is god all the time so get down and look up and give him all the glory.
Monday, January 31, 2011
grow down grow up grow out
so I have not been here in 10 months a friend reminded me about this. So still trying to loose the weight. but not obsessing over it .
but winter is the worst for me. always seen to get into a funk, so yesterday at church i was reminded of what i should be doing that I'm not so not going to make any excused because there is not one . i was heading into the right diction but took a detour. so I'm trying to figure it all out. see i gave it all up to god because his is in control right. but some were down the path i took it back was talking to a friend how i was feeling and how things are falling apart and i said i want to spend MY BONUS on me . but i used it to pay the bills that i fell behind on and that i was mad because it was MY BONUS. and as the woods were coming out of my mouth Omy how stupid i was. wow then i felt like an ass . sorry GOD sometime i need a good kick in the rump . so i been sitting back looking at the things. so see i always fighting the demons most of the time i feel berried alive. so their this painting at church. its this arm reaching for the light. fighting
all the way to reach the light .so its a hard fight some days i just want to stop. and that were I'm out in life so i am praying everyday . hoping one day ill reach that light this are going to be OK just a little hard today
but winter is the worst for me. always seen to get into a funk, so yesterday at church i was reminded of what i should be doing that I'm not so not going to make any excused because there is not one . i was heading into the right diction but took a detour. so I'm trying to figure it all out. see i gave it all up to god because his is in control right. but some were down the path i took it back was talking to a friend how i was feeling and how things are falling apart and i said i want to spend MY BONUS on me . but i used it to pay the bills that i fell behind on and that i was mad because it was MY BONUS. and as the woods were coming out of my mouth Omy how stupid i was. wow then i felt like an ass . sorry GOD sometime i need a good kick in the rump . so i been sitting back looking at the things. so see i always fighting the demons most of the time i feel berried alive. so their this painting at church. its this arm reaching for the light. fighting
all the way to reach the light .so its a hard fight some days i just want to stop. and that were I'm out in life so i am praying everyday . hoping one day ill reach that light this are going to be OK just a little hard today
Monday, March 1, 2010
weight loss
Day three: very sore today my legs hurt. the hardest part is this whole eating thing.this is hard for me I never been someone who ate breakfast so i forgot to bring breakfast so i didn't eat
Lunch: I had some bean soup that was yummy thank you Sheri' and a bottle of water and i did some snacking its hard not to at work so that's were I need to realize what i'm eating soI have to start counting the calories that i'm taking in i did do my exercised today even though my legs hurt .so all in all this was not the best day i wish i could take something that would make me instantly thin like everything else around us jk oh well pray that tomorrow will be better so how many calories should I be eating a day ???? I was looking to see if i could find anything on Google but cant find anything .
Lunch: I had some bean soup that was yummy thank you Sheri' and a bottle of water and i did some snacking its hard not to at work so that's were I need to realize what i'm eating soI have to start counting the calories that i'm taking in i did do my exercised today even though my legs hurt .so all in all this was not the best day i wish i could take something that would make me instantly thin like everything else around us jk oh well pray that tomorrow will be better so how many calories should I be eating a day ???? I was looking to see if i could find anything on Google but cant find anything .
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Day Two: Today was a good day went to church came home to have
BREAKFAST: half of grapefruit toast and hard boil egg 1 cup of coffee
Exercise: for 30 mins 20mins of strength exercise 10mins of yoga im felling good about this . the rest of the day was tiring then Dinner we had tacos i made myself a taco salad I enjoyed that. So I was told it takes 28 time before something becomes a habit so i guess i have 26 more days OK lets pray for my ability to hang in there I already feel better about myself. Still looking for some receipts for some new healthy dishes.
BREAKFAST: half of grapefruit toast and hard boil egg 1 cup of coffee
Exercise: for 30 mins 20mins of strength exercise 10mins of yoga im felling good about this . the rest of the day was tiring then Dinner we had tacos i made myself a taco salad I enjoyed that. So I was told it takes 28 time before something becomes a habit so i guess i have 26 more days OK lets pray for my ability to hang in there I already feel better about myself. Still looking for some receipts for some new healthy dishes.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
for many Years i have struggle with my weight . i don't like the way i look i feel like a blob but ....... i don't do any thing about it so i decided to stat this and keep a check on my self what i eat my exercise and my goal .
So lets start with my goal I always felt my best at 130ish so that is were I would like to be .
Right now I'm at the heaviest i have ever been and that is 173 ouch but my fault so I'm looking to write down my days to see how i do.
and also looking for diets that will help if some one has any that they have used or know that works can you send them to me.I can't afford to go to a gym so..... I'm going to use the wii fit and other programs for the wii as my exercise so here we start today:BREAKFAST
I had two cups of coffee half of grapefruit a peice of toast with jelly and a hard boiled egg i did 20mins of yoga and 10mins arobics so that was a good start my weight as of to day is 172.3lbs.
So lets start with my goal I always felt my best at 130ish so that is were I would like to be .
Right now I'm at the heaviest i have ever been and that is 173 ouch but my fault so I'm looking to write down my days to see how i do.
and also looking for diets that will help if some one has any that they have used or know that works can you send them to me.I can't afford to go to a gym so..... I'm going to use the wii fit and other programs for the wii as my exercise so here we start today:BREAKFAST
I had two cups of coffee half of grapefruit a peice of toast with jelly and a hard boiled egg i did 20mins of yoga and 10mins arobics so that was a good start my weight as of to day is 172.3lbs.
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